Estate Planning for Blended Families: Navigating Complex Relationships

Families come in all shapes and sizes, and blended families – where partners bring children from previous relationships to form a new family unit – are increasingly common. If you’ve remarried, live with a long-term partner, or have stepchildren, planning for the future can become more complex.

Although it’s never easy to consider what happens after we’re gone, having a clear plan is crucial – especially for blended families. It ensures your wishes are honoured, helps avoid misunderstandings, and can prevent future disputes or anyone feeling left out.

What is a Blended Family?

According to the Office for National Statistics (ONS), a blended family is a stepfamily that includes a couple and at least two children:

• At least one child must have both members of the couple as parents

• The other child (or children) must be a stepchild of one of the couple

A well-known example is the Kardashian family. Kris Jenner has four children – Kourtney, Kim, Khloé, and Rob – from her first marriage to Robert Kardashian, and two daughters – Kendall and Kylie – from her marriage to Caitlyn Jenner. Caitlyn also has four children from earlier relationships.

Blended families are on the rise. The ONS reported over 780,000 stepfamilies in the UK in their 2021 report, accounting for approximately 4% of all families.

Why Estate Planning Matters More in Blended Families

While it’s important for anyone to have a Will, it is especially vital in a blended family, where the absence of a plan increases the likelihood of complications.

Over the course of your life, you may have children from different relationships, a new partner, or stepchildren to whom you feel close. Without clear instructions regarding your property or assets, misunderstandings are far more likely. The people you care about could be left with nothing – even if that’s not what you intended.

A common assumption is that by leaving everything to a spouse, children will naturally inherit later. Sadly, this is not always the case. The surviving spouse might change their Will or remarry, meaning your children may be excluded entirely.

Having a carefully constructed estate plan avoids these risks and provides peace of mind that everyone you care about is protected.

Common Challenges in Blended Families

Different Expectations

One of the biggest challenges in estate planning is determining what feels fair. You may wish to treat all children equally, or perhaps prioritise your own children. These choices are deeply personal and emotional – there’s no right or wrong. But it’s far better to make these decisions yourself than to leave them to others to guess.

Providing for a New Spouse and Children from a Previous Marriage

Many people want their partner to be secure after they pass, while also ensuring their children eventually inherit. Striking this balance can be difficult – particularly when the children are not your partner’s. If you leave everything to your partner, they are not legally required to pass anything on to your children later. Establishing the correct legal structures can help mitigate this risk.

Legal Complications with Unmarried Partners

If you live with your partner but are not married or in a civil partnership, it may come as a shock that your partner does not automatically inherit anything upon your death. If you want to ensure they are provided for, your Will must reflect that explicitly.

Helpful Tools and Strategies for Blended Families

Wills with Life Interest Trusts

A Will containing a life interest trust allows someone – typically your partner – to live in your home or receive income from your estate during their lifetime, while preserving the capital for your children or other beneficiaries. This can be ideal if you want your partner to remain in the home after your death, but want your children to eventually inherit the property.

Discretionary Trusts

Discretionary trusts offer flexibility by allowing trustees to decide how and when your estate is distributed. They are particularly useful if your family circumstances are likely to change, or if any beneficiaries have additional needs. This structure allows for adaptability as life evolves.

Mirror Wills and Mutual Wills

Mirror Wills are popular among couples. These are individual Wills that mirror each other, often leaving everything to the other partner and subsequently to the children.

Mutual Wills, in contrast, are a legal agreement between at least two people that neither party will change or revoke the Will without the other’s consent. Once one party has died, the Will becomes irrevocable. While this might sound like a secure option, it can cause difficulties if circumstances change. For most, Mirror Wills offer a more flexible solution.

Letters of Wishes

This is a non-binding document that accompanies your Will and provides guidance to your executors and trustees. You might explain why you’ve made certain decisions, such as leaving more to one child or choosing a specific guardian. These letters help your loved ones understand your reasoning and can reduce the risk of conflict.

What About Inheritance Tax?

Inheritance tax can be especially complicated in blended families. Stepchildren and children from previous relationships may not receive the usual tax breaks. Additionally, gifts made to individuals who aren’t considered close family members can lead to tax liabilities.

Trusts can help minimise the tax payable, but they must be structured correctly. Seeking advice from a qualified legal professional is highly recommended.

What Can Go Wrong (and What Can Go Right)?

The problem:
Matt left everything to his second wife, trusting she would look after his children from a previous marriage. However, she later remarried and changed her Will, leaving everything to her new husband. Matt’s children received nothing. This was not what Matt intended, but it couldn’t be changed after his death.

The better outcome:
Katie had children from a prior marriage and wanted to provide for them while also ensuring her current partner was looked after. She used a life interest trust in her Will, which allowed her partner to live in their home for the rest of his life. Upon his death, the property passed to her children. Everyone understood the plan, and it worked as intended.

Keep Your Plans Up to Date

Writing a Will isn’t a one-off task. Life changes, and your Will should evolve too. You should review your estate plan if:

• You get married, divorced, or separated

• You have more children or grandchildren

• A loved one passes away

• You acquire new property or wealth

• Your relationship with someone named in your Will changes

Additionally, regularly reassess guardianship arrangements for young children to ensure they remain suitable.

Working with a Legal Professional

Estate planning for blended families is rarely straightforward. While DIY Wills or online templates may seem convenient, they often overlook important details. These oversights may create major problems later on.

At ELM Legal Services, we specialise in supporting families like yours. We’ll take the time to understand your unique circumstances and tailor a solution that fits everyone involved.

How ELM Legal Services Can Help

Whether you need a carefully drafted Will, guidance on setting up trusts, or simply professional advice, we’re here to help every step of the way.

There’s no time like the present to prevent confusion in the future.
Call 0117 952 0698 or submit a free, no-obligation, enquiry. Let us help you protect what matters most.